• Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

*at a party*
this bass is wild!

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giant-spirity-korra:

*TFS* Attack on Titan Abridged Episode -1-

this is my favorite snk parody of all times

tagged → #i love it #snk
unexplained-events:

Had no idea this was how whales slept

unexplained-events:

Had no idea this was how whales slept

troyesivan:

its kinda scary when you waste an entire day doing nothing and time just passes

smilesandvials:

This always cracks me up and I just want a giant poster of it in every lab.

smilesandvials:

This always cracks me up and I just want a giant poster of it in every lab.

randomness-bear:

megasumpex:

karmarsi:

megasumpex:

halloweevee:

ok but seriously whos homer supposed to be hes the only one where i cant tell who he is

homer is supposed to be Zoro from one piece im pretty sure

Who in the world is Marge supposed to be though? She’s the only one I have no clue on

A character from bleach I believe

marge is supposed to be Rangiku Matsumoto

randomness-bear:

megasumpex:

karmarsi:

megasumpex:

halloweevee:

ok but seriously whos homer supposed to be hes the only one where i cant tell who he is

homer is supposed to be Zoro from one piece im pretty sure

Who in the world is Marge supposed to be though? She’s the only one I have no clue on

A character from bleach I believe

marge is supposed to be Rangiku Matsumoto

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:Hey MomI’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.Love,Your Son.A couple days later he got a response from his mother:Dear Son,I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.When are the two of you coming for dinner?Love,Mom


BEST MOM

I’m crYING

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

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BEST MOM

I’m crYING

neptunain:

"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"

"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"

"oh rad bring it in"

Reblog if you dont shave your legs everyday.

notafraidofstopping876:

troylersmellet:

my-herbal-journey:

I just want everyone to see how unrealistic some expectations are.

who the fuck shaves their legs everyday?

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squirllysquid:

Finishing multiple art projects in one night like

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fibug:

don’t ever give me games with customization options that you can’t change later because i will never make up my fucking mind

icyarguments:

And now a message to our boys: You matter. Just because you’re not a bulging beefcake doesn’t mean girls aren’t going to like you, Just because you’re not a thin as a rod doesn’t mean you’re unattractive. Just because your looks doesn’t meet someone’s preference doesn’t mean you’re undateable. If you want to change your appearance you have to accept it first. You’re not weak, you’re not disposable, and you do not deserve to die.